HEART-ATTACKS !!!

I have already suffered 4 heart attacks - frightening isn't it. The last time was a 'massive' heart attack, meaning all arteries were severely choked, very, very serious indeed. And I was like 'gasping' for breath most of the time whilst warded in SGH. I had to have an oxygen mask off and on most of the time. This happened in late 1998. The doctor verbally gave me about 2 months to live, and I told myself that this was The End for me. Being very stubborn, I refused to have a by-pass, which the doctor claimed would give me at least 30 years of healthy living. At that particular time I could not accept that the doctor could play 'God', judged me and sentenced me. It was then that I started to pray and pray continuously for God to heal me or maybe even create or make a 'miracle' happen, for deep inside of me, I was really very scared and very fearful of what will happen next, I guess I was only human. Feeling lost and lonely, I decided after 7 days to be discharged. Doctors and staff suggested having oxygen tanks to be handy and me being the arrogant one simply refused.
Finally, at home, I could only move very, very slowly, even to turn my head to the right and left was dangerous as it could cause me to breathe slightly more which was just impossible, I laid in bed, but continued praying to the Almighty. Then.......... (p.s. a lot of tension now building up, I think I need to make a cup of coffee and relax a bit, maybe I better continue tomorrow, till then, bye for now.)