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Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Passenger Extraordinaire.


Ferrying my passengers recently was quite dull and boring as most of my passengers were always very quiet, kept to themselves throughout the trips, returned short mono syllable answers to my curious questions, no chit-chats, too engrossed in their handsets, usually playing games or into their ipads and therefore nothing exciting or interesting happens during these journeys which has kept me slow in posting interesting or informative blogs lately.

This evening, around 10.30pm, I picked up a passenger at Clarke Quay taxi stand. He comes from England, a fifty-ish English guy who wanted to go to Orchard Towers. I wished him and commented "A bit quiet tonight in Clarke Quay isn't it, but it would be lively with women activities over at OT". He replied "Yeah, I'm going there and maybe can meet up with my ex". "Woh, that'll be nice!" I said, adding "What's her Nationality by the way?". He answered quickly, "A bitch". And then it all started as we headed towards OT with him asking me if I knew what a deer was and I said "Yes, its an animal". "Right" he said, "but this deer has got no eye" and I asked him "How come and why?" he replied "No eye-deer" (No idea) I laughed aloud and he continued, "The deer remained very still, you know why?" I said "No, I don't" and he said "Still No eye deer" after which he immediately started telling me fantastic jokes one after another, mostly vulgar and obscene ones which got me laughing hysterically non stop all the way to OT. Mind you, his repertoire of kinky, obscene and very vulgar jokes were fast, continuous, seemed endless and I just could not help being tickled so badly as he kept spewing out all the jokes that kept me laughing with him loudly all the way to the taxi stand at Orchard Towers.

He paid his fare and gave me an extra $3.00 tip together with a last obscene joke as he alighted. Wow, I was all shooked up, wide awake and tried hard to remember his jokes as I drove off. Suddenly my taxi work became so full of life, exciting as I continued laughing quietly till I finished my shift. I wish I could duplicate and pen his vulgar jokes and short quips to share with you guys too, but no, I cannot do it, its too shamelessly obscene. He was indeed a fantastic stand up comedian whom I'll miss as he will be flying home tomorrow night. My only regret is, I forgot to ask him for his name and contact.    

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